The things that have kept me up at night:
1982 (2nd grade): Killer Bees (I was stung when I was 2.)
1983 – 4 (3rd and 4th grades): Nuclear(sp?) War (I can really remember laying up at night with this fear. Big bright light, melting flesh, the who nine years.).
1985 – present: Mark 10:17-25 or Mat 19:16-24 (I can still remember the first time I heard this. I was sitting in Our Lady of Fatima church. My soul shuttered. I know this was going to be my struggle for life. The struggle of letting go.)
As time passes, I am learning more and more that it is not only my (material) riches that I must surrender. I must surrender all the riches in my life (such as giftedness). I know I so often cling to my abilities in this world to find happiness and to find my place. In the end, fulfillment does not come from what I have (or can do). It comes from following the Holy Spirit which resides in my soul, pulling me closer to God.
It is very hard, when I can do much (have much), to turn over my life to what I am made for.** Not what I can do, but who I am. I am a shard of the supernatural. This precedes my work, my relationships, and my wants. I know I can only find joy when the longings of my soul are honored, which is when I unabashedly live the truth (as incomplete as it is) my soul understands, regardless of where that may lead.
**Please don’t cry for my giftedness. It is not a burden, but a great blessings.

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