Many of us are not comfortable with money and/or abundance.
We feel guilty because we have too much, because others have less than us.
We feel powerless because others have too much.
We feel like we can’t have what we need for happiness because we don’t have the money to get the education, experiences, or stuff to provide that happiness.
We feel like we are compared to others by how much we have.
We feel bad talking about it, but feel victimized when we aren’t paid what we are worth.
To demonstrate this point I often have people do a brief visualization. I have everyone in the audience close their eyes and instruct them the moment they feel uncomfortable to raise their hands. I have them image they are in a new BWM with leather seats and stereo system that is playing their favorite song. They are cruising along, on their way to work. As they drive up to work everyone they work with is in the parking lot. As they drive up they can not only see the expressions on their faces, but also hear their conversation and know what they are thinking.
By this point everyone in the audience is raising their hands.
Some people raise their hands the instance they place themselves in the drivers seat of a new luxury car. They know it is an expensive car and are afraid they are going to wreck it, thus having a huge repair bill. Or as one person said, “We are just not luxuiry car people.”
For most the moment of discomfort is when then get to work. They are embossed to have so much. The “know” other people are looking down on them because they are wasting their money or they are getting paid more than they deserve. They can feel the jealousy.
These experiences are not uncommon. My hypothesis for the reason why is to long to get into here. But with that being said…
I know I have problem with money and abundance. I often feel like I have too much and that I am not appreciative of what I have. Because of this belief I make choices that limit my abundance, because when I have more I feel guilt. I feel like I am taking too much and more than I need. [Being aware of what you have is healthy, obsessing about it and beating yourself up is not.]
For example, I want to sell lots of copies of the book I have written. First, because I think it is a good book and can change people’s lives for the better. Second, I know if I sell books it is going to give me the resources to do things I want to do. Two of my heros are Bill and Melinda. They have taken their abundance and are doing amazing things with it. This would only be possible because they are worth $50 billion. Not that I am going to be worth $50 billion anytime soon, but more abundance in my life would give me the chance to do something I really believe in (as well an provide myself with opportunities to grow).
But for some reason just the thought of sell thousands of copies of my book I get flush and uneasy.
I feel that people are going to be disappointed in the book I have written and they have wasted their money. (When I pick the book up on the first things I see is all the flaws.)
I feel people are going to look down at me because I have success I don’t deserve and success they don’t have.
I feel like people won’t take me seriously as a “minister” because I would have financial success.
I feel people are going to feel jealous because I have had the opportunity to write a book when they have not.
Because of this, I make choices that limit my success or hesitate when I have chances to share more copies of my work.
This leaves me with lots of things to work on in my life. Worries of what others think. Worries that I am taking to much. Worries that having money is bad.
In the last year of my life I have gone through a lot of growth. I have set out to work on these things.
To work on my discomfort with money and my lack of comfort with material abundance, I have created a new web site call 1000 More. It is based off of an exercise for Jerry and Easther Hicks book Ask and it is Given.
The idea is simple. Everyday you spend time pretending to spending money. Each day to start the exercise you make deposit into an imaginary checking account (filling out a bank ledger). Then you find what you want, you write checks for it, and you see what it feels like to have it.
The first day you spend $1000. On the second day you spend $1000 (for a total of $2000 on day 2). On the third day you spend $1000 more (for a total of $3000 on day 3). On the 365th day you spend $365,000, making the grand total almost $6.7 million dollars.
All of this is not to say that money and material possessions are the end all be all of existence or happiness. If we are not careful we can make them our God and have them control our lives. This does not mean it is bad. Money and stuff are just tools. If we have it we can do and help in ways we couldn’t without it. [This paragraph was written because 1) I think it is an important point and 2) it is rooted in the desire to not come across as a money-grubber. Again, there is my fear of what others will think.]
This is nothing more than a game. I’m hoping to shine a little light on some feelings of unworthiness that I have. My plan at this point is to try and do the game for a year. This does not mean I am going to do it daily, but a number of times a week. I am going to document all my purchases on line. This is to help me get comfortable sharing my desires with others with out being so self-conscious of what they are going to think.
I have created a number of rules that I am going to follow to insure that I engage fully in the game. The rules can be found on the site.
The new site:1000 More

Some might define these the other way around. In my life, it doesn’t matter which word is applied to which definition. What matters is the fact I know the difference between the two and that I keep striving to have a disposition of (what I would call) joy and that I am not consumed with seeking (what I would call) happiness.
Happiness is dependent on one’s perception that the current circumstance is positive. Joy is not. Having a disposition of joy is the ability to see the joy and blessing of the current moment, not matter what it is.
This does not mean that we are simply passive about the moment, or that we won’t try and change our current situation into something else. Where we are and what the world looks like right now is a fact. It does us no good to lament the facts of life.
Joy is seeing the blessings where you are and knowing is just the starting point for what you are going to create in the next moment.

I am trying to make another change to the way I pray and think. I am trying to only think and pray about what I want and desire, not what I don’t want.
For example, I am no longer praying for an end to hunger. Instead, I am praying for abundance to all. I am no longer praying for ache and disease to leave my body, but instead I offer prayers of health.
When we think about something and give it time, we are giving it space and energy in our lives. Even when we are saying we don’t want something, we are giving that something power and thought. Why would I want to give the idea of war and more power or strength in my life. By working towards peace I am accomplishing the same thing as stopping war, but I am not thinking about war.
Mother Theresa said she would never attend an anti war rally, but would always attend a peace rally.
The reason for the change is simple, and the change is all about me. I don’t think my prayers are more likely to be heard because of the change, but I am more likely to hear the spirit prompting in my daily life because of the change. Wanting to stop something makes us closed, because we are only thinking of end and eradication. While thinking of abundance makes us open to possible outcomes (even ones we could not dream of).