(Sung like the Cardigans circa 1997)
Evaluations from a conference we helped out at in December, “We love the APeX guys, but could you get someone else for a change.”
Ouch!
Someone said for someone else (or so we have heard), “I don’t like APeX because they always do the same stuff.”
Ouch!
The first comment came in the middle over 100 pages of evaluations and comments about the event. It is the only one I remember.
The second comment was shared with me at the end of a day in which over 50 adults had personally thanked us for our work and our presence (many who have seen us multiple times). It was the only comment I could think about as I drifted off to sleep.
I think the reason these comments haunt me is because they reconfirm my own fears.
I love the work we do. I know we have worked very hard and are committed to quality. One some level we must be doing something right because we have found enough work to make a living for close to a decade.
But there are times, late at night (when nothing good crosses ones mind) we I think I am a fraud. That I am closer to being the man behind the curtain than the public face that is put forward.
As I hear these comments, it is easy enough to get defensive, because I justify and defend why me make the choices we make (and it is not because of laziness).
But that does me no good.
It is good to listen to critique and criticism. It is good to be challenged to be better and to grow.
It is useless to agonize and lament. It is debilitating to give all my energy to defending my actions.
It is best to listen, process and let it go.
It is that simple.
Too bad it isn’t that easy.

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