I spent the weekend with like minded people.
I attend over twenty hours of classes in three days.
I learned a great deal.
Through out the weekend my mind was flooded with opportunities and possibilities.
In the front cover of my notebook I had two lists. One was todo/new ideas, the other articles and blogs to write. Both lists ended with more than 20 tasks on them.
Then the drive home happened.
It took about 9 hours to drive 350 miles home (because of little things I like to call CT and NYC).
Somewhere in Connecticut I could feel my dreams deflating. The sense of lightness of opportunity and hope was just gone. It wasn’t as quick as a balloon popping, but it also wasn’t a slow deflating. In less than 90 it was gone.
And it left me feeling empty. Kind of like a crash after a sugar rush. The low was a low as the high was high.
On Monday I was able to re-stoke the flame and get some work done on these new ideas.
Tuesday was a wash because of dental issues (and my wallowing in my dental issues).
Today, I am almost afraid to get up from my desk and eat breakfast, because I am going to break the momentum of the morning (which has been great filled with a few more new ideas and some good content).
Dreams are great, but they are not enough.
There is still the small voice inside of us that wants to talk us out of chasing dreams. It does not do this because it is mean or takes joy is sucking our’s. It is doing it because it is trying to protect us from the unknown and failure.
The little voice in our head that says, “can’t” and “not worthy” is a coward. It assumes the worst. It assumes you are going to get your hopes up and fail. It assumes that failure is going to be so painful it is going to cause death (or something much worse).
It is just trying to protect us from ourselves. Unfortunately, it is greatly misinformed.
I am not going to die if I fail, but I will suffocate if I don’t chase my dreams.
To do this I must keep stoking the fire of the dream. I must try again (and again). I must get up and dust myself off after setbacks. I must keep reminding myself that failure is not the end of the world (not matter how if feels in the moment). I must keep reminding myself of the past joys of chasing these dreams.
Even if I never reach these dream, by chasing them I will feel whole, alive and real.

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