On my last trip to Peru I met an interesting high school senior named Nathan. Nathan is more focused than most people his age. He was already taking college classes his senior year of high school. He had a good idea of what he was going to study and what his path was going to be after school.
I had the chance to catch up with Nathan right before Thanksgiving as he was helping out at a retreat Brad and I were speaking at. When I asked how college and his big plan was going he said, “Actually I am still living at home going to a community college because I have started an organization.”
His story went something like this…He had always wanted to be a Big Brother. Once he was finally old enough he found out he lived too far away to qualify to be a big brother. Most people would have just thrown their hands up in the air in disgust and moved on. Not Nathan. He did something about it. And what he did wasn’t small.
He did this: Granparents and Grandkids
Never Let Then Tell You, “You Are To Young!”
Tag! You’re it.
An odd game of tag has broken out on the blogosphere. Someone posts a question on their blog and then “tags” 5 people who are also blog to answer the same questions. If all goes well they also tag 5 people, creating a tree of responses. For some reason this is called a “meme”.
In the past 7 days I was tagged byKaren (who was part of Brad and Joia’s travel group to China) and Michael (the first person I met during orientation my freshman year off college).
Karen nominated me for a thinking blogger in her post“Aw-Shucks!”. Basically, it is a list of 5 blogs that make you think. My 4 in no particular order (and yes I have posted about many of these before).
The Dilbert Blog: Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, blogs daily about what is on his mind. He is not afraid to take on touchy subjects. Half the time I think he is a total whack-job, but he is willing to change thoughts and beliefs we take for granted.
Seth Godin’s blog: Seth is a marketing person. He has written a number of book that I like enough to own and go back to. He writes a lot about the creative process.
Thoughts On the Way: Cameron Conant is a Nashville based writer. He describes himself with the Maya Angelo thought, “I am not a Christian, but I am trying to be.” Very open self-assessment of his own journey.
Beyond marketing: Joe Vitale is one of the most successful internet marketers of all time. His blog is very rarely about marketing. It is more about chasing dreams. From time to time he gets a little new-agey, but I love his willingness to chase dreams and challenge others to do the same. More than once a week something he rights causes me to change the way I am chasing my dreams.
Mike tagged me as part of Alex Shalman’s
I have no shortage of goals, but I don’t like the phrase of the question. It implies the only way I can say that I have lived the best possible life if I am able to check of certain things off a list. I do have such a list, but what is more important than doing certain things is how I think I will grow and change by trying to reach such goals. Also, the question doesn’t take into account that the world and (hopefully) I am going to change. The list can’t be static. Therefore any goal list I have today is subject to review as soon as lunch time.
Here are some goals I have and (more importantly) why:
40 countries by 40 (to count a country I must spend 7 nights in it): I love international travel because it makes me look at the world from a different point of view. It is easy to fall into the trap to assume my thoughts are the best thoughts because they are based on my experience, but that experience is so incomplete. By visiting other cultures I am forced to challenge my assumptions. By making myself stay 7 days I am more likely to wonder away from the tourist traps and see what that local culture is really like. By setting the goal of 40 by 40 it has created as sense of urgency. As I am planning each year it forces me to think creativity of where I would like to go and how I am going to get there. I am desperately behind because I keep going back to countries I like and still have much to learn from.
Appear on Fresh Air with Terry Gross: I will live a long and happy life if I never appear on any radio show, but I did this it would be I have created something very cool. Fresh Air doesn’t have your typical radio guest, whom are trying to sell something, but instead are movers and shakers in some field. They have written a book or created/starred in tv/movie that is thoughtful and meaningful. If I appeared on Fresh Air I will have created something that is meaningful to culture. I fancy myself a creative and hope to create something(s) that are thought provoking, healing and/or challenging.
Keynote NCCYM: It is an arrogant statement to say I have something to offer and to long for a particular stage. The group of people who adore more than any other are adults who take time to love and support young people. As we have crossed the country time and again I have been blessed with the opportunity meet and be touched by so many of these adults. They are underserved. Because of this it has driven me to write my first book, start an e-newsletter, and speak at retreats and training for nothing (next to nothing). If I reached this goal, it would mean that I have honed my craft to the point that others think I have something to offer on such a large prestigious stage. It would also mean I could stand in front of 2000 of these adults to tell them they are loved and even if no one back home ever says thank you, I do.
Become an EFT Master This is a training and working process that takes 5 years. If I achieve this it will mean that (1) I have improved my skill set as coach and practitioner, (2) contributed to the state of the art of helping people to heal, and (3) be witness to many many people gaining and improving health.
Above All
This morning we attended mass with the students of St. Mary’s in Mt. Vernon, IL. (Go Knights!)
Today the second graders were responsible for the mass. They read, sang, and ushed (what ever the past tense of ‘to usher’ is).
When it came time for communion, one of the second graders who was cantering said, “Our communion hymn is ‘All Above’. I mean ‘Above All’”. And then she smiled a big toothy second grader grin and giggled.
How nice would it be to still be in a place that we could mess up, into a microphone, in front of all our peers and not be ashamed. But instead think it was funny.
Getting Called Out
I very publicly stated at the beginning of the year that I was going to change the way I talk. I did it publicly to create a accountability structure, people who would hold me to my word.
I have been doing a decent job at it too. I have been much better about my self-deprecating speak. Even more important, I have done a much better job about the way I talk to others. There have been a number of times I have been able to catch words in my mouth and not let them out.
Except when it comes to two people. A few weeks ago we were in San Diego. Myself and another speaker were arriving about the same time. The moment he got to baggage claim I was into it. Giving him a hard time about carrying bag because of his age and that we should take a bus to the parking lot because of his weak heart.
All in jest. To a dear friend.
And he called me on it. He said he read my blog and thought I had given this up. In a weak defense I said he was exempt.
Than last week in LA I found myself doing it again too another friend.
Maybe it is harder because both of these people like to joust with words, they fight back and it is fun.
But that is no excuse. I still stick to my original premise. It is wrong and destructive for me to do.
I love the fact I have friends who will call me out.
Lookin’ Good for Jesus
Thinking of You
It is nice to know others are thinking of you.
At the same time I am note quite sure how I feel about this:
Thanks! Thanks a lot.
[think of someone else today]
When I Grow Up
I have never used the term hero in describing others. For me it is easier to say “who I would like to be when I grow up…” They are people who have characteristics I admire. In the last few days I have been introduced (at least through history) to a new person to add to this list. I thought it would be a good time to review them all. (in alphabetical order)
Karen Armstrong: Author and historian. I am impressed with her willingness to follow truth were ever it leads. For her it lead to places that required her to give up many things that were dear.
[Wikipdia bio | books]
Harold Saxon Burr: Doctor, teacher and researcher. Burr was a scientist who was willing to go against the grain for follow a path which he felt would best help the heath and well being of people. Burr taught at Yale Medical for 40 years starting in 1929. Many of his hypothesis and theories we seen as ridiculous. After others tried his experiments (with no success) he returned to the lad to find where his ideas were incomplete. Some research he returned to for more than 20 years. His ideas, then seen as quackery, are today the foundation of such things as EKGs and PEMF (magnetic fields used to spur bone growth). He followed where the fact lead him, regardless of what the scientific community thought of his work, in order to improve heath/medical care.
Michael Carotta: Author, catechist, teacher, and trainer. He is a great storyteller and amazing trainer.
[books]
Malcom Gladwell: Author. Most famous for his books The Tipping Point and Blink!. He is also a regular contributor to New Yorker magazine. He genius is his ability to synthesize. He can take research and information form many different disciples and weave them together in to a single, useful narrative.
[web site | blog | books]
Jerry Goebel: Musician and companion. I love e-mails from Jerry. They say things like, “Could you please call before 4pm. After then I will be behind bars.” Jerry works with marginalized youth. He works with adolescents in prisons (over 30 prisons) and those who paths could easily lead to that. He is a man of great faith who understands faith is an action reflected in how we live, not in the words we say.
[web site | books]
[Note: Last week there was sale on one of Jerry's books Songs of Hope. The book is a collection reflections on the Song of Psalms through the eyes of working with the poor, marginalized, and prisoners. Lots of people took advantage of the sale.
I would feel bad if others missed out on this chance to be touched by Jerry's work.
For that reason we are going to continue the sale for a few more days. This week if you use the code "hero" in the on-line store you can get the book for $1 plus shipping. Buy as many as you like. Share Jerry's amazing words with your friends and family.]
New Type of Math
I just got off the phone with one of the people I want to be when I grow up: Jerry Goebel.
He called me for some advice and, as always, I was the one who ended up learning.
He shared this equation with me:
value * possibility = motivational force
value: How much we value an outcome (for ourselves, others, or the world)
possibility: How possible we think that outcome is
motivational force: That force the burns inside us driving to action to achieve.
It is too simple. If we don’t value something, we won’t work for it. If we don’t think it is possible we won’t work for it. Our motivation to act grows with each factor.
In honor of this new learning, for the next 48 hours, I am offering Jerry’s book Songs of Hope for $1 plus shipping.
Go to the on-line store and use the code “new_math”.
Order as many as you would like.
Jesse Manibusan
The podcast is now up and working. Besides being able to download audios from the web page, you can now get all the audios through the iTunes store or any RSS feed reader.
To celebrate one of my old favorites has been posted.
In 2002 I send a couple of days hanging out in Jesse’s home asking him questions. I asked about him about music, ministry, and his family. He also sing a bunch of his songs (including two you have never heard) and tells the stories behind them.
New Audio Files: part 1 | part 2
All Audio Files: audio files
iTunes Podcast: Go to iTunes podcast. If you subscribe, your iTunes will add new audios when new ones are uploaded.
RSS Feed: feed
Better Feeling Emotions
An e-mail I received yesterday:
On your prayer blog you wrote “the ability to choose a better emotion”.
What do you mean by that, if I may ask?
Our emotional state is a choice. Sometimes it may not seem that way, but it is.
Every emotion is preceded by a thought. We interpret what is happening in the world around us. We make a value you judgment (is it good, bad, unsafe, satisfying) and based on that judgment we then feel emotion.
No mater what our emotional state is right now, we have the opportunity to choose a better feeling emotion.
An over simplified example, just to make the point.
My grandmother dies. I recognize that I am never going to have tea with her in the morning on the way to work. I feel loss and sadness over this loss.
I can dwell on the fact that I will go without forever, or I can choose to think how blessed I was to have such an awesome woman in my life and think back to all those great morning we had.
My emotional state changes as I move from loss to thankfulness. I feel better.
This happened by choice. I choose a different thought, which produced a different emotion.
Sometimes this happens by accident, but we can consciously choose to do this.
No matter what emotion we are feeling right now, we can always choose a better feeling emotion.
Sometime it is work to do this.
Sometimes we would rather stew in our own juices than feel better.
But, we always have the choice to choose a better feeling emotion.
[the aforementioned prayer blog]
Love, Olivia