I have been working through some resources by NLP master and learning disability specialist Don Blackerby PhD.
At one point he introduces the NLP Logical Levels of Experience, which is nothing more than a hierarchy of the different ways we experience and understand who we are.
It looks like:
Spiritual/Greater System – Who and what do am I part of or serve?
Identity – Who am I?
Beliefs and Values – Why do I do what I do?
Capabilities – How do or how can I do what I do?
Behavior – What do I do?
Environmental – Where and/or when and/or with whom do I do what I do?
None of the levels exist in a vacuum. If something changes in one of the higher levels, it is going to affect all of the levels below it. An example for Don’s work would be, if a child (or adult) defines themselves as ADD then their beliefs about how they work, what work they can do, how they are suppose (and allowed to act), and where and when they work is going to be different from someone who believe that they were never taught how to learn or control their mind.
The first person believes there is something intrinsic about themselves that can’t be changed and thus can (and will) only act in one way. The second person can see that they are not doing things in the same way as those around them, but there are skills to be added that will allow them to do things in a different way (if they so choose).
One of the comments he made that rung true with me was (paraphrase), “Often times we will have a failing at the capabilities level and will then us it as feed back to define ourselves and the identity level.”
It plays out something like this:
* I don’t communicate well in one relationship and the relationship ends, therefore I am can’t have relationships because I am unlovable
* I fail a test in school, therefore I am stupid
* I show up late for a game, therefore I am unreliable for all things
In all of these cases a single event (how capable we demonstrate ourselves to be in one instance) is then used to define our self. And once we have defined our self at the identity level it has a trickle down effect to all levels below it.
We are not any one action we make (or the totality of all of the actions we make). Our action are how we acted in one moment of our life. Nothing more or less.
Those actions are our past, not our present.
They do not define we are. They are how we acted.
Who we are is defined by what we choose to be right now.
Sometimes changing the believes about ourselves (at all these levels) is hard, but it is something we can do.
[today's prayers]